I'm a dedicated reader of the wed-o-sphere, checking sites like eastsidebride and Once Wed, and A Practical Wedding, and Snippet & Ink frequently. I like to read about the real weddings, to see how creative couples made their own decorations, or cake, or hired really amazing vendors, or threw it all to the wind and had a kick ass party with their fun ass friends, or some combination of those things. But lately I've noticed a lot of brides saying they found their experience disappointing. Specifically I've been reading accounts that their wedding day didn't happen the way they wanted, and that they felt sad, let down, or even devastated. Devastated is a very strong word, especially for a party, especially for a party that's all about celebrating a huge emotional step. It worries me. Where is the disappointment coming from? Some of the frustrated brides have concerns that seem legitimately saddening, like a dear friend or family member not being present through illness, death, or straight up rejection (ouch). That, I have a ton of empathy for, as it sounds downright rotten. HOWEVER. Many of the brides are upset about things like favors not being handed out, or tables not being set right, or flowers coming out wrong, or the sequence of events being incorrect, or... you get the point. It's terrible, though, to be upset by this stuff, right? And yet I can really, really understand how you get to that point. Once you've spent OODLES of money and time making every choice, being pressured from all sides to be SURE and to REALLY LOVE IT, to then be presented with something else is a bit of a mean trick. I do fervently hope I can dodge all of that. I do not want to be a disappointed bride.

OR WIFE for that matter.

I'm back on my regular plane after that trip to New York... coming back from vacation to homework and reading and presentations isn't something I miss from the first time I went through college ten years ago. It's hard to stay motivated for an entire semester. My old college was on trimesters (quarters, but no summer session) of 10 weeks each so this is the longest I've had to keep my attention and continue to push through, academically. Not super duper fun.

However since the last time I posted, I've gotten officially engaged, so I have a whole other world of distraction! I thought I might be able to stall for a little while, but as a friend sagely told me the day after the proposal took place, "the train has left the station." And so I've tried on dresses, thought about knitting a little shawl for myself, looked at tons of numbers for different venues, and briefly attempted to talk T into a nice elopement. (Not going to happen.) We've got an engagement party planned for next month, the invites are going out today in fact. So crazy.

For now, school. It's nice to have a little reward to tempt myself with for when I get my work done.

Freshly back from a trip to New York, and oh my. I understand how everyone and their mother ended up in that city because every time I go I catch myself saying, "I could do this." And I have no doubt that I could, if I had the requisite cash not to live in bedbugs and cockroaches. I'm honest.

We flew in Friday and left Tuesday, which was pretty satisfactory. We ate at some totally ridiculous places so I'm going to brag for a minute. First night, Prune. We had beef marrow because really, how could you not? Also serrano ham and figs, and phở style short ribs, and some cheese and brown bread, and wine, and pumpkin that wasn't all that good. Saturday we went shopping:



Oh clunky shoes. Of John Fluevog. How you have my heart! After shopping we met up with Thomas's cousin and went for a drink, first at Balthazar and then at the Boom Boom Room. We met up with MY cousin then, and all together we then took in a show by Jason Moran at the Village Vanguard. It was really special, totally amazing and beautiful and featured a Ghostface Killah sample as well as a sample of hymns sung by the Gees Bend quilters. Cultcha!

Sunday was a great day too, we met with old friends for brunch at dell'anima and man, do I miss my friends who aren't in the Bay Area any more. These two are really incredible, hardworking intelligent creative and honest people. Sucks to live far away and miss out on so much in each others' lives. They have a 1 year old and we'd never even met her. Criminal.

And then, that night we made a pilgrimage to Babbo. I could not believe the service - the host literally cleared a 6 person table for the two of us. I could have eaten while lying prone on the leather banquette. I started the meal claiming not to like white truffle and ended it begging Thomas to let me rub slices of bread on his plate to get the last of the truffle butter from his pasta. Next time (oh yes, next time) I am totally getting the pasta tasting menu. I didn't even want my entree. Also, the sangiovese we had was basically what I dream about at night. And during the day, some days.

Monday we had the incredible treat of meeting with a friend from the Bay Area who also happened to be in NYC, and happened to be literally across the street from our hotel! We ventured forward from there to the Highline Park, walking underneath the Standard and all around the neighborhood. Someday it would be really fun to stay at that hotel. After our walk we went to McSorley's and drank a lot of tiny beers. Tiny delicious beers. But not too many. Because then we walked to Ko. All I will say about that is: snail sausage.

SNAIL. SAUSAGE. Oh hell yes.

YES! Yes.


...


snail sausage.

robyn

My recent total obsession.

I'm late to the Robyn party, I know. Watching this video, I want to steal her look. Not the high waisted jean skirt so much as the amazing arms and blown back hair. How do you do your hair like that, do you think? Is it just lots of hairspray? This morning I pulled out my hairdryer for the first time in about 8 months in an attempt to recreate my hat hair from last weekend (the coif has gotten a little overlong and overthick, so the flattening was a good thing), and it made some horrible wheezing sounds before it acquiesced in the blowing and drying. So I really hope the Robyn hair doesn't require a healthy dryer.

shoes

I've finally gained some employment, which is thrilling for its security and, let's be honest, for its influx of funds. I am not to the point at which I can justify truly throwing down my hard earned dollars for frivolous items, but I am definitely up for making lists of someday purchases. (Being down in the depths of true unemployment does not make for fun "some day!" listmaking, in case you haven't been there.)

For some time, I've been trying to get more girly in my style - cute flat shoes, dresses, leggings, fussy/long hairdos, makeup. And it doesn't quite work. Some of it has stuck, but a lot of it has not. I'll admit it. I HATE FLATS. I look ridiculously short in them. I have high arches and love support, which most flats don't have. And they're often small, delicate, sketches of shoes. I like the look of a chunky shoe. A heavy shoe. A shoe that might as well be an ankle weight strapped on to tone your legs as you go about your business. And, I like practicality. I like a shoe that does not make you sad if you notice that rain is falling and you have to catch a bus. A shoe that does not make you angry if you happen to be in a dive bar and the floor is sticky and someone slops his beer.

This, of course, means I spend 99% of my time in Dansko Professionals. Um, which aren't very cool at all. But... clunky! Practical! Supportive! ... Uncool!

If I had the real kind of cash, like I once had and someday may have again, I would trade my dorky shoes for something more like this classic from Fiorentini and Baker:
I JUST. OH!


Or these Campers:

Yes, really. HOLD ME.

I've tried, I swear I've tried. But even when I cast my eyes toward something more evening-y, more suitable to wear with a dress and a pretty red lipstick, I end up with this:

Vialis, my one true love. You shall be mine.

I used to battle this predilection. No longer. My acceptance can actually be credited to a very random source, namely the Vogue interview with Michelle Williams from last October. "I've learned that I look better with less," she says. "Jewelry doesn't suit me." Now how about that? Obviously I'm not Michelle Williams, but something about her casual admission struck me as useful. Hey, guess what: I don't have to wear things I don't feel suit me, either. Goodbye, flats. Goodbye, earrings. Goodbye, long hair.

f1 at monza

Remember back when I went to Italy for the Formula 1 race and got back with tons of ideas about posts? Yeah. Those mostly didn't happen. So I'll do one now, on my experience at Monza, before I forget any more of it.

I went to the Grand Prix in Monza last year, September 2009, and I had an amazing experience. We did a lot of things right (some by accident), and I also did some things wrong. I'll put down my choices here in hopes that they might help someone else who's heading to the Grand Prix.

Right:

1. We stayed in Milano. I felt this was an excellent choice because of the freedom and ease of travel, mostly because we were there Wednesday through Sunday and that's a pretty long time to be in one spot. Monza is a lovely little town but being in the city was nicer for catching trains to other places for day trips (plus, I really liked Milano; it gets a bit of a bad rap, even among Italians, as a non-holiday-worthy city, but I found it pretty fabulous). Trains go to Monza constantly, and though we did not end up doing it, we also planned an easy day trip up to Lake Como. There are buses, streetcars, and a subway, as well as the bigger trains that leave the city. All of them are really easy to navigate and not expensive.

2. That said, we went to the Autodromo (the accent is on the second "o" by the way) every day we could and I was really happy. GO ON THURSDAY. We did on a whim, just to pick up our tickets, and decided we might as well go in since we were there. And hello, we got to go into the pits where the drivers were out signing stuff. Drivers. Mechanics. Pit lane. GO ON THURSDAY. Nobody checked our tickets, either. We just walked in and cruised around the track.

3. Take a cab from the train station instead of waiting for a bus, if you feel like it and aren't feeling too tight fisted. It's way harder the other direction, but going from the station it can be pretty convenient if the buses aren't running as frequently (like on Thursday and Friday).

4. Take the Autodromo bus back to Monza station, and be aware that you'll be walking for a while first. It's a lovely walk through a gorgeous park, so don't hoof it, take your time and look around; there were plenty of buses when we got to the pick up spot. Follow the crowds, it's very easy. Definitely wear comfy shoes; trainers are fine for sporting events, so don't worry about looking cool.

5. Purchase a bus ticket before you leave the train station! Actually, I recommend that regardless of where you're going. If you're wandering around Milano or outlying towns, just have a ticket or two that can get you onto the bus and metro. Makes life way easier to already have it in hand, as many (most?) buses won't let you pay in cash.

6. Bring sunscreen and a hat. You can buy a hat at the race, while sunscreen is not going to be available. Also consider having something on hand to block the sun while sitting in the stands. Our seats, while fantastic, did not have overhead coverage and the sun was very intense on race day. I used my jacket to shield my legs from the sun and escaped without a burn. A large scarf, a long sleeved dress shirt, or something else that you can drape over your shoulders will come in handy.

7. Pack a lunch. The food and beer are expensive at the race track, but not obscene. We brought a couple rolls, some mortadella, a few beers, a big bottle of water, and still ended up buying some snacks, and a sausage after the race.

8. You can get espresso at the beer gardens around the Autodromo. I recommend that. (Though for the love of pete don't order something more complicated than... an espresso. Don't be that guy.)

9. Hang out and eat at the track after the race. Walk the track a little, then go find one of the party areas and have some food. Let the crowds dissipate while you have a nice fresh beer and a sausage. It will still be light out when you do leave, and the buses will be less full.


Wrong:

1. Don't try to walk to the Monza train station all the way from the Autodromo. It's far enough that after a day in the sun walking around a track, you'll be confused and tired. Monza is not on a grid (shocking in Italy I know) and you might get turned around. Take a taxi, an Autodromo bus, or a city bus (see above about bus tickets).

2. Bring an umbrella. Or a big plastic tarp. Or a rain jacket. Or heck, two large garbage bags. I got caught in a sudden rainstorm after Saturday qualifying and was totally soaked in my sandals and sun dress. Not fun! I was very uncomfortable the whole way home, as well as embarrassed. There aren't many options for cover once the rain starts; the trees in the forest are only so-so, the grandstands don't offer any real protection, and there aren't enough beer stands to accommodate everyone. Be prepared to hunker down. I was intensely jealous of the people who brought big tarps and simply created a little tent for themselves, where they continued to drink and enjoy themselves.

3. The train system is good, but it can take a while to get to Monza. Give yourself extra time to get from point A to B. Panic isn't fun. We took a cab from Milano to Monza to get to our tickets before the booth closed, and it was awful.

I'll post more additions as I think of them, but please leave me questions if you have any. I highly, highly recommend the Monza experience and hopefully these little tips will help anyone considering going!

what to make

Items I want to make this spring (hey look! it's spring! aaaahh it's not raining!):

This cardigan from Knitty, in the Blue Sky Alpacas cotton that it calls for, cumin shade. Oh, grotty greenish gold, you have my heart.

(Or, if I want to do another, warmer version, the Spud and Chloe sweater stuff in root beer, or lake, well that would be pretty fabulous too.)

(Or if I want to be knitting forever, Sprössling in Spud and Chloe fine.)

Duck socks. Duh.

A baby surprise jacket in Noro silk garden, colorway 252 (black, grey, cobalt, and lime green), for my little nephew. It's gonna be all striped and killer.

Wing o the Moth shawl (rav), probably in the little shoulderette size, from my hoarded Curious Creek Wasonga in colorway Toto. Not very springy, to have a moth-themed black and grey shawl, but I want it bad.

Manon (rav). ShibuiKnits Merino Kid, in honey. I have them both. Let it begin!